Todays blog post is about something that is very much close to my heart. There are so many people these days who I find judge a Mum (or Dad) who choose to stay at home and look after their children as opposed to go back to work. Now in my mind, whether this be that the parent is claiming government benefits, or has a partner who is working, it does not matter whatsoever. The fact is people are too quick to judge these days, and I find it really insulting and infuriating. I have experienced life on both sides of the coin so to speak, and in this blog post, I am going to share with you my experience and hope that perhaps I can end this assumption that stay at home parents, are lazy, because it really is not the case.
In December 2000, I had a baby. Three days after he was born, his Dad left me. 2 weeks after he was born, I went back to work. I was fairly lucky in that I was able to take him with me to work in the morning, but in the afternoon he used to go and stay with his Grandmother, she used to pick him up and look after him until I had finished. She also worked, but she only worked in the mornings, I was very lucky, because I wouldn't have been able to afford childcare at that time, and my boss was happy for me to have my baby in the office with me. Going back to work was a case of having to. Of course I would have much rather stay at home and take care of and enjoy my baby, but earning enough money to keep him fed and clothed was my main priority. It's funny because, I actually felt that people though I was the worst Mother in the world because I went back to work, instead of stay at home and look after him, and now look where we are, how times have changed I missed out on everything, I missed all the things he learnt he did, and it hurts everyday knowing that. To continue my story, my son is now a teenager, and we have never had that "bond" that a Mother and child should have, he stays with his Grandparents every weekend, he prefers to, I think that in his mind, his Grandmother is his Mother. He knows that I am his Mother, and he calls me Mum, but really his Grandmother is the one that he see's as Mum. I am sure that if he had the choice, he would go live with them. I blame the fact that I went back to work, and did not stay at home with him and look after him. I still do not know to this day if I will ever have a good relationship with him, he loves me, and I love him, but there is no connection. It breaks my heart, I feel like if I had of been a better Mum and stayed at home and taken care of him, then he would have that bond with me, and wouldn't be so angry. Now I have to spend my time rebuilding the bridges that we have lost along the way, and continue being his Mum, but it's harder now because he is a teenager and wants to go out with his mates and has no interest in having time spent with his Mum.
In 2009 I had my second child. I had given up work when I had him, and so I because a stay at home Mother. It was the best thing that I have ever done. I never missed a thing, every new little thing that he did, every new word that he spoke, I witnessed all of it, and I felt so proud. Now my youngest won't be apart from me. He goes to school fine, but he wouldn't go and stay at his Grandparents house, even though his older brother is there, he still wouldn't go, he just wants to stay at his house, with his Mum and Dad. The only thing that I could wish for is that his Brother changes and wants to stay with us more. I would also just like to point out that not only am I a stay at home Mum, but I am also an alarm clock, I take the kids to school, I wash I clean, I cook dinner, I don't actually have very much time to myself to watch the Daytime TV shows that people assume we all do, sometimes I do think that going to work, would be a holiday, but I love being a Mum, I wouldn't swap it for anything in the world. It just goes to show that being a stay at home, is the better thing to do, and I think that people who basically slag off the parents who choose to stay at home, are basically jealous in my mind. I would rather only have money for the bare essentials, than to have to go back to work and lose that special bond every parent should have with their child. What do you think about parents who choose to go back to work, don't feel you have to go with what I say, in this blog post, because everybody else has a different opinion. This is just my own opinion, form my own personal experience, of being a working Mother, and a Mother who stays at home.
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